Why Is The World Afraid Of Embarrassment?

I used to broadcast this across the open fields of my childhood home. My mom would laugh as I interpreted my silliest expression and yelled into the void that surrounded our house. I guess I was “interneting” before I ever really knew it. Ha.

Today, something occurred to and from me that I was not expecting. Like a bird flying into a window, words batted from my mouth quicker than I could realize. Someone asked me how the real estate career was going for me and my response shocked me.

If you follow me on social media, you may or may not have noticed that I haven’t been posting about my real estate career. I’ve been rather quiet about it… which is the opposite of what most agents do.

I haven’t been posting because I haven’t been offering real estate services lately. In fact, I haven’t since January 8th..

So, when someone asked me today, “how’s real estate going?”

I blurted out, “It’s not. It was really hard. I went broke for it and right now I’m not doing it!”

I couldn’t retract myself fast enough. Normally, I’d say “it’s going, I’m currently doing _______", but I could not hide it any more.

It is a fulfilling, exciting, and interesting career.

It’s also extremely challenging, very demanding, and a deeply complex career.

I liked learning the things I did not know.

I liked meeting new people and learning their needs for living.

I liked learning about their lives.

I liked helping the best I could.

But I was restless every night with anxiety.

I was using every resource I had for ends to meet.

I sacrificed free time.

I sacrificed friendships.

I sacrificed time with my family.

I sacrificed everything.

Every day felt like an up hill battle.

I cried almost daily.

I went broke and in debt.

and after 6 months of this cycle..

I was tired of going hungry for something that wasn’t feeding me.

During the times of challenge, I would lean into my “Why”. I’d speak to my colleagues and peers. I’d hear the encouraging stories and listen to the feedback provided. I truly put my best foot forward even when I felt completely beaten by the career. But, one day, I finally said. “enough.”

This isn’t actually for me. I didn’t care about the housing market before this, and I’m tired of trying to care now. I wanted this career to fuel my passion for writing, cooking, photography, travel and more, but what I realized is the more time I spent on the career, the less time I spent on those passions and the further away I felt from actually achieving my goals.

I started to ask myself, “do I even like this work?” “Is this actually how I want to spend my time?” “Is this how I want to be remembered or how I want to make an impact?”

Others would tell me, “You’re looking for your ikigai!”. I questioned, “my what?!”… “You’re purpose in this life.” they responded…

You wanna know what my purpose is in this life? Ha. It’s to exist and share the love that resides so greatly in my heart… you wanna know how I do that?

By writing. Cooking. Talking. Photographing. Exploring. Traveling.

Wow. The answer has always been right there.

So, why am I telling you all of this painfully embarrassing truth about how the last 6 months have been for me?
Because, it was time for me to be real about real estate. I don’t want to be asked how is it going, because it isn’t.

And, because I don’t know what my career is going to look like for me for a while.

I’ve got an amazing opportunity I’m sitting with currently that feels the most aligned with all of those things. I’ll share more about it another time, but it’s amazing how things seem to align right when you make the decision most truthful to you.

S0, why is the world afraid of embarrassment? Well, I don’t know their personal reasons, but I know I’ll never grow if I don’t bravely overcome my own.

Till next time..

Thanks for being on this journey with me.

Love,

Kala